Happy BIG Momma’s Day in Honor of the Big shoes that the Big Girls wear!

Happy BIG Momma’s Day in Honor of the Big shoes that the Big Girls wear!

A heart felt expression of love and gratitude to all mothers who have been, currently are and in the future choose to take on one of the most rewarding yet personal growth inspiring jobs and role model positions in the world. What a mouthful but yet it doesn’t begin to scrape the surface of the huge impact and influence that “SHE – A Mother” has in our world.

Hard Truths...Not all mothers are meant to be one and not all mothers who hold the title are good ones. What defines one can vary depending on whom you ask. But one thing is for sure; unconditional love and tough love when needed, steadfastness and a positive supportive influence are some of the traits you will definitely see in a good mother.

It is not a job for the faint at heart or for those who trend towards this type of responsibility like the seasons that come and go. Or it is to be likened to fashion trends that dictate what’s in and what’s out, like the purchase of a Chanel bag because it’s the latest “in thing”. Nor is it to be the feminine expectation because of capability for bearing children, because you feel it is your role by society, or genitalia alone or because all of your female friends have done it or want to do it.

Nor because the instinctual desire to parent begins to set in as your age creeps upward. It is the gift that keeps on giving to the planet, so your influence weighs heavily to what is given individually and also collectively, particularly as a parent whether you birthed naturally or not. And so should your position to such a responsibility as a mother.  It requires dedication, determination, the patience of Job (as my gra-mamma use to say) and the extra oomph that God gives to those who ask and need to cross over the far reaching finish line that seems to fade as you get closer to it. In my view, every mother who takes on this job requires:

• Fearlessness into the unknown – no guarantees about your parenting
• Love and persistence – despite how tough it gets
• Understanding that Just because your natural (or not) off-spring chooses a path that may not reflect all the best qualities that you have given, taught or tried to teach doesn’t reflect any lack on your part. Remember it’s a choice for them and was once for you
• The willingness NOT to compare YOUR very best to the rest (of parents that is)
• Give all you got even when it seems not enough
• Not judging yourself even when you didn’t have much to work with
• Strength to keep going - Even if you have to do it alone (single parent). Know that your input is valued AND positively shapes and helps your children – Knowing that not having the Y chromosome doesn't makes you less of a positive influence – especially when there aren’t any other options (no matter what they say because THEY AREN'T doing your job as a mother alone)
• Trust that your best will make a difference
• Never give up even when your children may consider doing so or actually do
• Let go when its time – even if it hurts to do so to help them grow
• Know that you are a temporary caregiver at best as your children have a calling, a purpose that even you may not be privy to knowing or can do anything to prevent sometimes

These are but a few requirements in my view. And for some it may resonate and for others I don’t expect it to. But if you can consider these few things you may come to know the true joys of your influence being felt in the best of ways as a parent and mother, whether you do it alone or not. And so should your consideration weigh to the responsibility as a mother.  Know that you have done your part alone by simply CARING, DOING, TRYING, and NEVER GIVING UP which sometimes mean letting go.

Oh yes! A mother is a fearsome thing to behold when you run across a real one. For those who have gave the best they had or continue to give their all – Hats off to you! Keep making what it really means to be a mother a blessing to mankind. In the end, the people that surround us will have been touched by your positive influence.